My Best Jokes of 2013 – (Redacted Part 2; Pidgin English)


(1) Those days for school! E get one guy wen dey go out with one girl, professing love, ‘I will die for you’. My guy nor know say the girl original boyfriend na one top cult guy. When the cult guy hear say one guy don fall in love with em girlfriend, d guy arrange some of em boys make dem go handle d girlfriend lover. Na’em dem hijack lover boy go one corner. Dem give d guy pep talk:

Cult guys: When Adam fall in love with Eve, wetin happen?
Lover guy (confused): Adam commit sin
Cult guys: No, wetin happen to Adam last last?
Lover guy: Adam die.
Cult guys: Good. When Romeo fall in love with Juliet, wetin happen?
Lover guy: Romeo die.
Cult guys: Good. When Abacha fall in love, wetin happen?
Lover guy: He die.
Cult guys: Good, you wan fall in love?
Lover guy: Nooo, Bros abeg I nor wan fall in love ooo. Abeg!
Cult guys: Good, if you nor wan fall in love, you know dat girl…. Stay away from her.

(2) Abeg nor be quarrel, na joke:
 
E get one short man who sought to correct the vertical challenges in his future children. E come see one fine tall authen… babe. The problem be say dis guy nor arrange (no money). Instead of the lady to say she nor go fit marry poor man, she say she nor fit marry short person.
 
Dis guy name na Paul. Lady name na Cynthia. Nor do nor do, Paul go hustle, make enough money. One day as he dey cruise town wit em car, e come see Cynthia for road. He give Cynthia lift. When he drop Cynthia, as a gentleman, he come down, come open the passenger door so dat Cynthia go come down. Cynthia come dey trip.
 
She look Paul, she say:
'Paul, Paul, you don dey tall ooo'
Paul reply:
'Cynthia, Cynthia, you don dey blind ooo.'

(3) E get people wen dey like to ask 4 thins indirectly. I wonder why. If you are in need of something, why not go straight to the point and ask for it?

One man went out with the girlfriend. After eating in a very expensive restaurant, they passed by a boutique. The girl saw one nice dress on display.
 
She said: 'OMG, look at that lovely dress. So beautiful, honey, do you think it will look fine on me?'
Man: Yes, I think so.
Lady: Honey, let me go inside and try it on to see if it's my size.
Man: No problem, when you are thru, meet me at home.
Lady: Honey, ain't you going to stay with me while I try it on.
Man: Sorry, I can't. Looks like I have stomach upset from the food I ate. I need to be home ASAP.
 

My people, all these effizy and talk from the lady could have been summarized in one simple statement: 'Honey, I love that dress. Can I have it?' Shikena!


©Dr Eugene’s Column (http://dreugeneojirigho.blogspot.com/)

©Dr Eugene’s Blogs (http://dreugeneoji.blogspot.com/)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I've closely followed COVID-19 coverage for more than 1 year. Here are my key takeaways. (Part 1)

In January of 2020, I started seeing news of a novel illness in China. At that time, I didn't give it much attention because of the then ongoing impeachment trial of Donald Trump. One of my favourite pastimes is following up on current news and topical issues. So, it was towards the end of the impeachment trial that the news of this new infectious disease in China started picking steam in the traditional and social media. The possibility of a new transmissible infection reaching the shores of Africa, for me, was a dreadful thing to think about because it brings back the memories of the 2014 Ebola crisis in West Africa. As a practicing health care worker in Nigeria, I remember how it felt seeing febrile patients with history of travel to regions with confirmed Ebola cases. The last thing I wanted was to relive that experience. Hence, out of fear, anxiety and much trepidation, I closely followed every key event related to this novel viral illness that later came to be named COVID-19 ...
Read more

Reflections: A Moment of a Lifetime!

Image
We all have had a moment in our lives that we would always live to remember. That special moment when the earth stood still and the universe became your audience. Yes, that very moment you became the epicenter of the universe. The moment that remains indelibly marked in your heart and mind. That moment he saw her; that moment she saw him, and they both knew that they were meant to be together forever. That moment you stopped in your life’s pursuits and realized that your life has a larger purpose and meaning. That moment you made your life’s dreams come through. That moment you were declared a doctor or lawyer or engineer or the likes of that. Yes, that moment you began your life’s career. That moment you got a promising job. That moment you stepped from the plane and you began a new phase of your life. That moment you stood at the altar, took an oath and swore your undying love for your life partner and then opened a whole new chapter in the history of your life. That moment yo...
Read more

Reflections: A Sense of Humour! A Sense of Balance!

Image
It helps to look at the light side of things. If someone insults you or make you angry, can you look at the funny side of it and smile about it, it can go a long way to ease the tension! When you sense that people laugh at you because of a defect you have, can you preempt them by joking about it? For example, I’m short and dark. If someone wants to pick on me, that will be his first point of call. So, I joke a lot about my been short and dark like, ‘black pot’, ‘black charcoal’, ‘briefly summarized’, etc such that when so insulted that won’t be the first time. Don’t be discouraged, whatever defect you have if you can’t change it then take advantage of it. What you lack vertically, you can make up horizontally. What you lack in length, you can make up in width. What you lack in colour, you make up in contour. What you lack anteriorly, you can make up posteriorly. What you lack superiorly, you can make up inferiorly. What you lack outwardly, you can make up in...
Read more